8-11-2009

That was the day of my very first treatment. Today is 8-6-2010.

360 days later.......

All my treatments are done. Had surgery 4 weeks ago to remove the lump that started this whole thing. At the time they thought it was a fibroid and not nearly as serious as cancer so they just saved it for last. I met with the doctor who did the surgery today to do a follow up on the cut across my bikini line and fill me in on what they did or didn't see. What they did see was endometriosis and the mass was not a fibroid..it was an endometrioma. A BIG one...approx 10cm. He said it didn't want to come out and took some serious poking and prodding. That explains why it feels like someone has been boxing inside my stomach. He also confirmed that the pathology report came back as all clear. He released me to go back to work on Monday and he said the he thought

wait a sec....

*all clear*

I cant process that......

How can that be??? A year ago I wrestled with the fact that I was going to die. Maybe not right away but that cancer was going to kill me. Inside my head I visited all the places I wanted to go but hadn't been to yet. I visualized all the faces of friends and family I hadn't seen in a long time because I didn't know if Id be able to see them again before "it" happened. I came to terms with the fact that there were things in my life that I had planned and hoped for that I would never see completed.

I am breathing a sigh of relief.....for now. Cancer is a very tricky thing. Today I appear to be cancer free but you can never be sure what your future holds. I am extremely thankful to all of the doctors and nurses who spent their time to treat me and educate me, to my friends and family who solicited prayers from all corners of the world and who were at my side pushing me to fight.

I still cant fully process all of this and the ultimate pessimist in me is really battling with my brain....what I do know is that today I feel more alive then I have for the past year and I have a smile that could burn a hole thru the sun.

Thank you for spending your time with me.....