Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Oh what a difference a day makes....

And 2 units of red blood!!!

Feeling muuuuuuuuuuuuch better. Will post more in the morning. This is the latest (11pm!!!) I have been up in 4 weeks and I gotta get to bed.....long day at work tomorrow!

Love ya!

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Blood work.....

At 9am today my blood work was .......

White cell count 0.6 (yes that's ZERO POINT 6)
Red cell count 2
platelets 66

For those who know the numbers I don't need to explain....for those who don't...there will be no internal radiation tomorrow or the next day or the next day. It may not be until Oct 7th for the first one. Its all going to depend on my body....and its not cooperating.

All I can tell you is a flight of stairs feels like I ran a mile......and Im off to go to sleep. I will write more later...for now Im exhausted.

Love you!

Saturday, September 26, 2009

I take it all back.......

Blood counts have really dropped (red and white are both hovering around 2-3 I believe) and I will be getting meds today and tomorrow in hopes of bringing them to a level that I can still have the internal radiation on Monday.....so far it looks like its gonna happen but only if my body agrees. I'm heading 45 min north of me at 8am for the first shots and then again tomorrow at 8am......I'm really pissed off at my body and at cancer and the fact that I have to go so far for the shots...and...and and......cancer can kiss my ass! (sorry Dad but I had to say it!)

I will be back and at work by 10am......I will be checking emails if you have questions I will try to respond asap.

Thanks...love you guys!

Friday, September 25, 2009

What a difference a week can make!!

Hey there Hi there Ho there!! Its been almost a week since the last post (can we say SLACKER!!) I was always taught that if you didn't have anything nice to say then its best to say nothing at all. I was grouchy, cranky and not feeling well so that explains the silence (I hope!)

I'm doing much better....still feeling tired...but then again I'm back to a full work week (50 hrs) and walking the in the mornings and cooking and cleaning so I suppose being tired should be expected. Ive been hitting the pillow somewhere around 8:30pm and waking up at 5:30ish. I usually cant fall back asleep so that's the new witching hour for me. I make some toast, read the news and then head out for a walk.

Ive noticed that I'm bruising easily so the clumsy girl I am is trying to be more careful. I still cant take the smell of coffee and the taste of Diet Coke......the 2 mainstays of my life pre-cancer. Everything else is good tho. I have been getting back into the kitchen...doing some baking and making The Boy good dinners.

I have an appt today with the Chemo Oncologist...just to go over blood work and follow up on how I'm doing....nothing serious. The hospital will be calling me tonight sometime between 4pm and 7pm to let me know what time to be there Monday morning. One of the nurses told me it looks like I'm set for the OR at 7:30 so its gonna be an EARLY morning I'm guessing. I'm OK with that....the earlier they get started the earlier I'm out on Wednesday. The rods have to be in place for 50 hrs so the length of my stay depends on when the clock starts ticking. Id be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. Ive never been to the OR before or put completely out. I have faith in everyone doing the job and I have to say that the Doctors and Hospital have been very thorough, I have gotten probably 7 calls from various departments and nurses confirming info and giving me directions.

I need to get ready for work....thanks for hanging around with me on this blog.....journeys are always better when you can share the sights!!

Love you!!

Saturday, September 19, 2009


Still not feeling up to par. I suppose 6 weeks accumulation of Chemo and radiation are finally catching up with me. I am just grateful I didn't feel this way the whole time. I am extremely tired and all I wanna do is sleep. It will take a few weeks to bounce back but I know it will be fine eventually.

The procedures are still on for Sept 28th and oct 7th. They told me that even after the hospital stay that the radiation will continue to kill cells so I wont have to see any Drs for 60-90 days!! Yea!! That means I can go through the holidays without having to make trips everywhere. I hope that I finally have some energy back by then too. I just hate not being able to do all the things I wanna do. The walk in the morning feels good but it wears me out by 5pm.

The Dr I met with on Thursday seems pretty good...and I trust him. He is an Assisant Professor for the hospital and he will be having students watching......if I can help at least one other person by letting them be there then the whole freakin school can come....ha!

Heading to bed.......love you guys and I cant thank you enough for everything!!

Thursday, September 17, 2009


I have been fighting the nausea for a few days now and I'm not sure if its due to the Chemo or my nerves on this next procedure. Since its 6am (been up sine 5) I'm going to assume its a little of both. I'm so NOT a morning person.

I'm heading to the physical today for pre-op. I hear its chest x-rays, EKG and other stuff....oh joy. I dont feel like going but I know I have to. I'm keeping my eye on the prize I promise. I have gotten over the pity party I was having a few days ago and have gone back to treatment mode. The Boy has helped a great deal with that. He is my strength when I cant muster any of my own.

Speaking of the Boy...he informed me last night that since it is deer season and Ive been shooting my bow pretty well that we will be having a deer hunt after the Drs appts today and I WILL be taking my first deer. He seems pretty confident so I'm gonna just go with the flow and hope he is right. Will keep you posted!!

I'm off to eat some Banana Nut Cheerios (new obsession!!) and get ready for the appts.....

Love you guys and thanks for the prayers~~

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

The end....for now!

Today was the 6th and final Chemo treatment and the 30th and last radiation treatment and I am so glad.

*It took me 5 tries to write that last sentence due to my chemo fog and sluggishness.*
(3 for this one)

With that said I'm going to head back to bed for a little while. The nausea is hitting kind of hard but I will make it through tonight and be fine tomorrow I'm sure.

The hospital called to do pre-admission for my procedure and all she had me in for was Oct 7th so I'm not sure if they have re-scheduled the Sept 28th one or cancelled it all together. Will let you know as soon as I know.

More posting later or tomorrow. Thank you for all of the prayers......they are working!!!
Love ya!

Friday, September 11, 2009

I wish....

I could sleep through the night
I didnt always feel like I had motion sickness
I had normal body functions
I didnt get hot flashes
I wasnt so tired all the time
I didnt feel like a "target" at work
I could drink coffee again
I wasnt so moody and mean to the people I love

I wish I had the life I had 5 months ago back...........

I know that I have to move forward.....but I feel like I have to mourn the life I used to have because I dont know that it will ever be the same again......maybe Im just having a bad day. It was bound to happen....I will be fine in the morning so please dont worry!

Love you bunches and thanks for the support....its what keeps me going....even on bad days!!! :)

Thursday, September 10, 2009


I am sorry for all the worried emails and text's and phone calls. Internet has been down since last night so I wasnt able to post anything in regards to the update from my Doctors visit on Wednesday. I am actually super suuuuuuuper tired so Im gonna be brief.

I am scheduled for 2 LDR internal radiation treatments. (Sept 28th and Oct 7th). Each requires a 3 day stay in the hospital in isolation. The details of the procedure are not pretty and I think the Dr I saw today referred to it as slightly barbaric (YIKES) Id prefer not to spill the details on this blog unless someone out there REALLY wants to know all the nitty gritty and if so I will be happy to email you the info.....I just think there might be some people who wouldn't be comfortable with the graphics of the procedure if you get my drift.

They all seem to think that this is the best way to treat me at this point and the fact that I am young and continue to be active is whats allowing them to even CONSIDER surgery after these treatments. I'm told surgery is def. NOT the standard in a case such as mine and would be cutting edge. Whooohoooo for cutting edge!!

On a side note...I got my hair cut today. I got it cut 6 weeks ago and had anticipated being bald by now.....nope...had to cut an inch off. For now......You just never know and I do still have one more Chemo treatment to go. Any thing is possible. Today the boy and I ran a bunch of errands, went out to lunch, saw a doctor, had radiation, got my hair cut, grocery shopping, checked the game cameras and made dinner for the family. All in all Id say I'm doing pretty damn good!!

Love you guys!!!

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Todays Stats

Round One (still!)

Chemo 5
Radiation 20
Hair Loss ZERO (?!?!?!?!)
Gained 1 lb (damn it damn it damn it...steroids UHG!!)
Missed work Zero
Prayers 1,500,000

You guys rock by the way!! All the emails and cards and phone calls, text messages (Hi Sherry!!) and prayers.....It makes this whole mess a little softer and I appreciate it so much!! Got a card from my Uncle in Ohio....he knows all too well about this fight as he helped my Aunt Barb through her brave journey with Breast Cancer. He is an amazing man and if I can draw just half of his strength I'm way ahead of the curve!! *waves* Hi Uncle Myron!!

I meet with the Radiation Oncologist who does the Internal Radiation tomorrow @ 8am...that means I leave the house at 6:30am to try to beat the turnpike traffic. Anyone who knows me KNOWS I am not a morning person.....I will try not to hurt anyone on the process of getting up and driving there so early....no promises tho. I plan on working after I'm done with her so I wont be able to post any news until tomorrow night. My job has blocked selected websites like Blogger and anything shopping related!!!!!! I have found a few "backdoors" to help with the obsession. I will have to wait until 9:30 ish tomorrow night to update you on what she says.

Thanks again for all of the stuff and I love you guys!!!

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Rough patch........

Hitting a bit of a rough patch.......nothing serious. Just not feeling quite up to snuff. Have an appt Wed with the Internal Radiation Oncologist and we will know then if its one or two more Chemo treatments. I'm hoping one......I just want to feel normal again. I feel like Ive been on a cruise in rough seas for days.....without the umbrella drinks and hot Hector serving me dinner....damn it!!

Will try to post more later....heading back to bed.

Love you guys!!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Houston.....we have shrinkage!!!

Quick post before I head out to chip wood and man the tractor.....Saw the Drs today and we have tumor shrinkage. Now its not "HOLY CRAP WHERE DID THE TUMOR GO??" but its shrinkage none the less.....its responding...the little bastard is dying. Looks like 2 more weeks of chemo and radiation and I have an appt set up to see the internal radiation doctor as well. All the prayers and positive thoughts are working!!!

On a side note my Chemo Dr commented on my "wig"....ha!! I told her its my real hair....she had to look in my file and make sure I was on Cisplatin.....she is shocked!! Im just not one to go with the flow....Ive been trying to tell them that all along!!!

Have a wonderful day and know that I love you guys sooooo much!! I cant wipe this silly smile off......I am going to WIN!!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Chemo treatment 4 Radiation treatment 16 !!!

Those are my stats as of today

Round one
Chemo 4
Radiation 16
Hair loss 0
weight loss 3lbs
Events missed 0
Work missed 0
Prayers said 1,000,000 (thanks to all of you!!)

I'm starting to slow down a little but its nothing serious. Just taking a little more time to find the hitch to my giddy up! Still able to eat everything that isn't nailed down (of course!) and keep up with my work and chores. I'm thankful to be able to keep my mind occupied. I have a lot of help if I need it so that's always a good thing. I meet with the Drs on Thursday and I will find out if I have 1 or 2 more treatments of chemo. I'm hoping for 1...that would be awesome. I have been to a Dr almost every day now for 4 weeks. I could use the break from the cycle of the clinic.

The good news to report for today is blood work is still very good. Starting to show signs of treatment....cell counts were a little lower but nothing serious AT ALL. And the other good news is the IV went in the FIRST time.....yipeeeeeeeeeee!!!! They say I have skinny veins.....of course it had to be veins and not my butt. I suppose its a trade off. If anyone cares Id prefer the fat veins and the skinny ass thank you very much!!

Going to head off to do some laundry...I hope everyone is having a wonderful day and know that I think about you all often. All of you keep me going and your thoughts a prayers are felt!!

Love you!